Tokyo’s Muslim

“The bastard cockblocked me!” exclaimed Josh, my ever-excitable American friend.

Thus I was introduced to the most dispicable character in the pick up game, the cockblock. Takayuki Fujiki, as we will call him for this entry, is a system engineer at a small Japanese company. He told me that his hobbies included learning the English language and getting drunk. I guess Takayuki didn’t realize that butting into Josh’s drunk conversations was not a good way to make friends.

Takayuki’s big problem was that didn’t know he was cockblocking Josh. He didn’t realize that jumping in the middle of two people and starting to talk in mangled English would be akin to a mental cold shower. Worse was how he wouldn’t leave regardless of the angry stares other guys gave him. It drove Josh nuts.

I’m not part of the game, and I don’t drink – but I do try to take care of my friends. Thus I was tasked with the unenviable duty of eliminating the cockblock. However, as I discovered, it was easy to get rid of him. I just bumped into him by accident, and when he spilled his drink, I walked him away (slowly) while letting Josh have his way with his woman. The second time I decided I didn’t want to have to talk to him, so I just started referring to him by Yakuza honorifics until he moved on.